


Retweet.

by plinys



Series: Retweet Verse [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Fix-It, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-03
Packaged: 2020-11-22 10:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20872880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinys/pseuds/plinys
Summary: richie tozier ✓ @trashmouthwhat did i miss lol





	Retweet.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone does social media au's where they are kids, which valid, but consider all of them as adults with Verified Accounts and Richie still just shit posting. That spawned this fic, which I wrote after taking cold medicine, so it might actually only be funny to me. 
> 
> Enjoy?

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** what did i miss lol 

*

It’s technically his publicists idea, but it gets over eighteen thousand likes within the first twenty-four hours, so as far as Richie is concerned the whole thing is a success. His miraculous come back after a few months away from the spotlight. 

There had been rumors swirling after his  _ disappearance  _ from the public stage. After he ran off in the middle of his own show after five minutes of awkward silences and jokes he suddenly couldn’t remember. He’d gone back to Derry, saved the world (not that the world deserves saving), and in the meantime the press had made plenty of rumors about him up while he was away.

Drugs.

Scandals.

The last of his sanity finally slipping away.

Which fair…

This wasn’t  _ exactly  _ helping his case. 

“This isn’t what I meant,” his publicist says. 

And he knew that. 

He did, but what was he supposed to say? 

_ Sorry I was busy defeating an evil demon shape shifting clown from outer space that eats children _ . 

Actually. 

He could use that.

Maybe it could be his next bit. 

“Richie?” 

“Right, sorry,” Richie replies. Even though he doesn’t mean it. He’s sitting in a hospital waiting room. Waiting for the last of the rests to be run, a clean bill of health of be given, so they can finally get out of  _ fucking  _ Maine. 

His publicist sighs. “I wish you would just  _ try  _ to salvage your reputation. Remember my paychecks come as a portion of your paychecks.” 

At least she’s honest with him. 

Even if he can’t be entirely honest with her. “What do you want me to say? Sorry, my childhood friend died and then when I went for the funeral,”  _ the person I’ve been pining over for years,  _ “My best friend got in a car accident and was in a coma?” 

“I mean…”

“No.”

“It would get you the sympathy of the press and you could use that, Richie.” 

  
  


*

  
  


**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** the only things that suck more than hospital waiting rooms are tsa checkpoints, in this essay i will… 

**Bill Denbrough ✓ @BillDenbrough ** @trashmouth Promise me you won’t join the mile high club

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** @BillDenbrough wELL NOW THE IDEA IS IN MY HEAD 

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** @BillDenbrough dont worry Billiam i wont join it without you ;)

  
  
  


*

  
  


“Your phone is supposed to be on airplane mode.” 

“We’ve got another ten minutes before take off,” Richie insists. “The plane hasn’t even started moving yet.” 

He doesn’t need to turn around to be sure that people are still trying to find their seats. Sure, they’re somewhere past the first class seats that Richie was sure to put the two of them in, but they were back there  _ somewhere  _ and really the plane wasn’t even close to moving. 

But when he turns to look to Eddie there’s a frown on his face.

His very much alive and awake and still (even after all these years) exasperated face. 

Fuck, how is that he missed that look even when he didn’t remember that it existed. 

Richie doesn’t even look away from Eddie before sliding his phone off and into airplane mode. 

“Happy?”

Don’t be an asshole, Rich.” 

“You like it.” 

Even as Eddie rolls his eyes Richie knows that he’s right. 

It had taken some sorting out. Once Eddie woke up from his coma and all the tests came back positive. They’d made a few phone calls. Eddie quitting his job, and then filing for a divorce, and really there was nothing quite like getting stabbed by an evil clown spider and nearly dying to set one up perfectly on course for a full blown midlife crisis. 

As far as midlife crises go, Eddie was thriving. 

Not that Richie was biased at all, but the fact that until Eddie figured out where exactly he was going from here, he was planning on staying in Richie’s guest room well… That certainly helped things. 

“And you need to make sure that your seatbelt is buckled” Eddie says, reaching across Richie to buckle him up. 

Which is really close to his dick and Richie could probably blame that on the fact that his only come back is a teasing, “Yes, mommy.” 

Eddie draws his hands back so quickly it’s almost funny. 

“Why do I put up with you?” 

“Excellent question.” 

Somewhere behind them a child starts crying the second the plane actually begins to move and Richie ignores Eddie’s pointedly smug look in the direction of his phone. 

“Speaking of excellent questions,” Richie says. “Do you think if either of us were like fucking afraid of planes, It would have had to turn into a fucking airplane in the middle of the sewers like - fuck - can you imagine? A giant fucking airplane suddenly appearing and-”

“Remember how I said you should go back to writing your own material?”

“Yeah?”

“I take it back.” 

  
  


*

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** what are you afraid of? Dumb answers only 

**Bill Denbrough ✓ @BillDenbrough ** @trashmouth Those people that go to the gym before breakfast and don’t hate their lives. 

**bev marsh ✓ @MARSH ** @trashmouth Google Results for Unhealthy Coping Mechanism results: Richie Tozier

**Ben Hanscom ✓ @ArchHanscom ** @trashmouth Bev’s worried about… 

**Ben Hanscom ✓ @ArchHanscom ** @trashmouth Also failure. 

**Mike @MikeHanlon ** @trashmouth Do you want me to give you the number of that therapist again? 

**Edward Kaspbrak @EKaspbrak** @trashmouth You really paid $10 for wifi to tweet this. 

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** taking applications for new friends, all positions open

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** billiam you can stay, the rest of you are dead to me 

  
  


*

He doesn’t plan to trend on twitter.

But really he’s  _ Richie Tozier, Fresh Off the Deep End  _ (the working title of his new special) and so this should have been expected it. 

Everyone in the comments and tags at least seem to no longer be concerned with his possible mental break or drug addiction, and now are instead confused as to how  _ he  _ known disaster of the comedy world could be friends with a successful architect, fashion designer, and author. 

Who knew having cool childhood friends would come back to bite him in the ass.

At least, some of them were cool. 

And then there was Eddie, who as far as Richie is concerned is the coolest of them all, but as far as the internet is concerned well… “You need to update your twitter profile.” 

“Why,” Eddie asks. He’s sprawled out on Richie’s couch, the sounds of some game show that neither of them are paying attention to in the background, looking like he belongs there and Richie tries not to feel extremely  _ fond  _ of everything that’s happening right now.

Tries and fails just a little bit. 

“It’s embarrassing to interact with you,” Richie replies. “Your profile picture looks like someone’s LinkedIn and who the  _ fuck  _ calls you  _ Edward _ .” 

“You do know that that is my name, right?” 

“ _ Edward _ is the least sexy name in existence, I’m not calling you that, you need to change it,” Richie insists. 

Eddie just shakes his head at him, turning back to the tv, the game show that neither of them are paying attention to and suddenly pretending that he actually cares about wheel of fortune. 

“They should buy a vowel.”

“Eddie!”

“No.”

“Eds!”

“No.” 

“Eddie Spaghetti!”

“Still no.”

“Eduardo!”

“No.”

“Baby!”

That at least earns him a  _ look _ , Eddie dragging his eyes away from the tv to look at where Richie is sprawled out on the floor (trying to work himself through his latest bout of writer’s block).

“I’m not calling you Edward,” Richie insists. “I won’t do it. It’s against my morals.” 

“Be quiet,  _ Richard, _ I’m trying to watch the television.” 

  
  


*

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** petition for “””””edward”’”” to change his name, two likes and he has to do it 

  
  


*

“I’m thinking of coming out.” 

“Oh.”

That one syllable cuts through the otherwise dinner, not even the sounds of the rare LA thunderstorm could save them now. 

Eddie’s expression is hard to read.

It’s not as if he doesn’t know. 

They talked about this as soon as Eddie woke up, because almost losing the love of his life once was enough to convince Richie not to make the mistake of letting his true self remain hidden. The thing was he had said some things when Eddie was laying there probably dying. Things that were a little bit too close to the truth. Things he wasn’t afraid of anymore.

Or he hadn’t thought he was.

But then Eddie didn’t remember it all.

And getting a chance to take his love confession back was really the cowards way out, but there’s a reason his  _ monster  _ was a shameful dirty little secret and not a giant fucking airplane. So he had bit his tongue, held somethings back, but it wasn’t like Eddie didn’t know that he was gay. 

They’d had discussions about that. 

And Eddie hadn’t outwardly turned him away. 

Confessed that he might be a little too, but he still wasn’t sure how to label himself and wanted to talk with his therapist, and really Richie had thought that they’d made progress. 

Until now.

With Eddie no longer eating his dinner, and staring across the table and Richie, and asking, “Are you sure? There’s no going back from this?” 

“As sure as I’ll ever be,” Richie says. Even though his hands are shaking. It’s taken a lot to even get here. So many years repressing everything out of fear. And  _ fuck  _ he knows that it’s not going to be easy in the industry he’s in but lying about himself is hurting almost too much. 

“Are you going to do it as part of your show, or…” 

“Actually, I was thinking of doing it right now, before I change my mind.” 

“Oh…”

Richie takes a deep breath, unlocks his phone before he can second guess this.

His publicist is going to hate him, but this was going to come out, sooner rather than later.

_ Ha, come out _ . 

The second he sends the tweets he closes his phone, slides it across the table to Eddie, “Don’t let me look at what they say until the morning.”

“Okay,” Eddie nods. Sliding the phone off of the table and into his pocket. 

Out of sight.

Out of mind.

And then, asks the last thing Richie would have ever expected him to ask. “If you’re out now, does that mean you’re open to starting to date men?” 

“Fuck, maybe, I don’t know, Eds-”

“Because my divorced was finalized last week.”

This time it’s Richie’s turn to say, “ _ Oh _ .” 

*

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** im gay lol 

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** thought all those dick jokes had made it obvious 

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** fun fact

*

“I’m proud of you.”

“God,” Richie says, groaning into his cup of coffee. “Don’t make this a thing. I already regret meeting up with you.”

Bill just shakes his head at him.

Really the biggest crime of them both forgetting all about their childhoods is the fact that one of Richie’s oldest friends had been living in the same city has him for  _ years  _ without Richie knowing. All those times he could have tricked Bill into buying him a coffee had been lost due to the passage of time.

Really this was just making up for old times. 

“I really am though.”

“Disgusting,” Richie says shaking his head.

Because Bill looks like he actually means it and Richie doesn’t need that. 

“Tell me about your new book, did you finally learn how to write an ending?” 

“That depends, did you finally figure out where you’re taking Eddie on your first date.” 

Richie lets out another groan.

As if Bill didn’t know the whole point of them getting coffee was to distract Richie from his  _ nerves  _ about that situation. It would figure he’d still be as nervous now at the prospect of dating Eddie as he was at thirteen. 

“Just for that you’re buying me another coffee.” 

  
  


*

  
  


**TMZ ✓ @TMZ ** SPOTTED: @trashmouth and @BillDenbrough getting cosy at lunch? How exactly do these two know each other? After a number of twitter interactions, the two now were caught talking closes at a Starbucks in LA. 

**Hollywood Reporter ✓ @THR ** Is #Trashmouth in the talks for the next leading man of @BillDenbrough’s newest horror flick? thr.cm/QAHyvM

  
  


*

“Do you ever get used to it?”

“Get used to what,” Richie asks. 

They’ve just ducked inside of the restaurant, dinner reservations waiting for them, a  _ proper  _ night out. A date because Eddie had insisted that they needed one. That if they were going to do  _ this  _ (whatever exactly ‘this’ was) that they needed to do it properly that Eddie deserved to be courted. 

Take that everyone that ever said Richie couldn’t do romance. 

Eddie glances back towards the window, but doesn’t give him an answer. Just shrugs his shoulders a bit, a soft blush dusting his cheeks, “Nevermind.” 

But Richie follows his gaze anyways.

To the paparazzi that had ambushed them the second they stepped out of the uber. 

“You know, if you flip them off they can’t put it in the magazines?” 

Eddie’s smile makes it all worth it. “Does that really work? It wouldn’t hurt your reputation?”

Richie doesn’t bother mentioning that he doesn’t have much of a reputation anymore.

Not a good one at least.

His publicist still isn’t talking to him.

Which fair. 

Richie shrugs. “They don’t call me Trashmouth for nothing.” 

  
  


*

  
  


**LOSERS CLUB**

**BEV: ** there are actual reporters, with journalism degrees from accredited universities, reporting right now on the possibility of Bill and Richie having an illicit affair,,,,, 

**BILL: ** Well, now Audra’s text message makes a lot more sense 

**RICHIE: ** RIP

**MIKE: ** RIP

**EDDIE: ** What what articles? 

**BEV: ** this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read, I haven’t stopped laughing in hours

**BEN: ** She really hasn’t 

**BEV: ** #TozBrough 

**RICHIE: ** i appreciate that my name is first.

**RICHIE: ** it’s truly what i deserve

**MIKE: ** I liked the article that thought maybe Richie was going to be in Bill’s next movie.

**BILL: ** Suddenly having an affair with Richie seems more realistic.

**RICHIE: ** EXCUSE ME BILLIAM

**BEV: ** I like the part where they said you look like the guy that dies during the first five minutes of a horror movie 

**EDDIE: ** Retweet 

**RICHIE: ** thEY SAID WHAT

**RICHIE: ** also babe pls that’s not what retweet means, i need you to know this 

**EDDIE: ** I know, I just like it when you get frustrated 

**MIKE: ** Please keep your kinks off the group chat, some of us are single

**BEN: ** Can’t relate

**EDDIE: ** Retweet

*

  
  


“You’re not jealous are you?”

“No,” Eddie insists.

Even though he  _ is _ .

Fuck, if Richie doesn’t know that face.

If he doesn’t remember a much tinier version of Eddie with that exact same face.

It was cute then.

It’s still cute now. 

“Don’t worry, you’re the only one for me, Eds,” Richie insists. “The only one there’s ever been.” 

He means it.

The type of love he has for Eddie.

That’s the forever kind of love.

No take backs.

He’ll just have to make sure Eddie knows that, and that he never forgets. 

“I’ve been in love with you since we were in kindergarten together and the teacher made the mistake of putting our carpet spots next to each other,” Richie says. “Struck me straight through the heart at five years old, some real soulmate bullshit.” 

Eddie rolls his eyes, but there’s a fond smile on his face. “We weren’t even friends until Bill made us all hang out in third grade.” 

“Doesn’t mean I wasn’t in love with you from afar,” Richie insists. “Like I said  _ soulmates _ .” 

Eddie kisses him, just to shut him up. 

Richie can’t help but find those his favorite sort of kisses. 

  
  


*

**Bill Denbrough ✓ @BillDenbrough ** I’m not having an affair. And if I was it wouldn’t be with @trashmouth

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** @BillDenbrough oUCH 

  
  


**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** anyGAYS time for a poll, who is the top? Me (the correct answer) or Billiam (the wrong answer)

**Edward Kaspbrak @EKaspbrak** @trashmouth Delete this. 

  
  


**Edward Kaspbrak @EKaspbrak** TMZ really thought you were on a date wearing that shirt? RT @TMZ 

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** @EKaspbrak not all gays have fashion sense, some of us can do drive instead

  
  


**Edward Kaspbrak @EKaspbrak ** Looking through paparazzi photos of @trashmouth and you really don’t have a good angle do you? 

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** @EKaspbrak my best angle is under you lol 

  
  


*

  
  


Eddie’s phone buzzes against the coffee table, as it has been for the last hour. Richie’s fans having taken the insults Eddie was playfully slinging against his honor as genuine hate from an  _ anti  _ and had decided that the best way to respond was for them to en mass reply to everyone of Eddie’s tweets with a spam of photos of Richie.

Some that Richie hadn’t even known existed.

Richie would almost find it funny, were it not for the way that Eddie was pouting from his place curled up on the couch against Richie. 

Cute, so fucking cute. 

“You need to tell your fans to calm down,” Eddie insists. 

And Richie would.

Maybe.

But his phone is so far away and Eddie is in his arms and, “This is what you get for insulting my fashion sense. You should be grateful, now you’ve got more photos for your spank bank.” 

“Why would I need a spank bank when you’re right here?”

“Fuck…”

“Yes, that’s the plan.”

*

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** i’m the luckiest man alive

  
  


*

It’s nearly three AM when he does finally check his phone. 

Eddie asleep beside him. 

The guest bedroom finally going unused. 

Richie’s heart feels like it’s too big for his chest, and he can’t help but snap a photo of the moment, Eddie with his very obvious  _ sex hair _ , cheek pressed against his pillow. 

For the first time Richie finally feels like everything is going right in the world.

That made the whole universe isn’t awful. 

Not if it has Eddie Kaspbrak inside of it.

He doesn’t think twice about it before opening up his phone to make just  _ one  _ last post before going to bed, attaching the picture he took to the post. 

Eddie will probably give him hell in the morning. 

But it’ll be worth it. 

  
  


*

**richie tozier ✓ @trashmouth ** lol chill @EKaspbrak is cool (ish) and maybe (100%) the love of my life

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> come be my friend on twitter: [ @plinys ](https://twitter.com/plinys)


End file.
